A Letter from Your Anxious Friend

Nevertheless, I ask that you just cease viewing my anxiousness as a flaw. I’m not damaged. I’m not cracked. I’m not fragile. I so respect your makes an attempt to guard me and assist me, however I’m stronger than what you would possibly assume. You see, on daily basis from nightfall until daybreak my mind is in fight-or-flight. At any second I can give you 5 totally different situations on how issues might go drastically fallacious. It takes a powerful particular person to continuously inhabit this type of house and thought. 

There are days after I do ask that you just be light and affected person with me. I’m not claiming to have excellent power and resilience; I’m solely human. However I ask that you just present the endurance and understanding that you’d a toddler studying concerning the world round her and easy methods to take steps via it. With these treasured people, we’re light and we’re affected person. Nevertheless, we don’t assume that they’re weak solely as a result of they’re studying. We don’t remark to them about how we’re already cushioning all of their life experiences as a result of we do not assume that they’ll deal with the arduous occasions with out us. We converse life into them. We encourage their steps, and we encourage their falls, and we by no means view their studying experiences as flaws. 

Generally my fears and worries appear to overhaul me. They appear this manner as a result of it’s the fact. The ideas appear to embody the entire earth round me. However that doesn’t imply I give in to them. Day-after-day, I lean on Jesus somewhat extra. After which, like a human, I stray away, considering I’ve gained management over this “fear factor.” After which, the peaceable and loving arms of Jesus welcome me again after I discover myself in tears on the lavatory ground. 

I so respect your want to assist me and love me via arduous occasions. I want to be simply as a lot of a rock and assist system to you as properly, good friend. However typically all I would like is for somebody to take heed to the fears and the troubles and sit with me within the “what if’s.” I don’t want you to attempt to inform me all the things might be okay when it may not be. I simply want you to softly assist me via the battles of life, with out taking a look at me in pity. 

And sure, I take medication within the morning to assist me stability the chemical substances in my mind that appear to run in worry. However no, the drugs will not be a centrical a part of who I’m. It’s merely an support to who I do know I’m meant to be. Please don’t assume that I’m outlined by a prescription. Taking a capsule takes up 5 seconds of all 86,400 seconds in my day. Whereas I’ve no downside sharing my story, particularly to assist others, I don’t like to make use of my expensive good friend Sertraline as a crutch or an excuse. Due to this fact, I ask that you don’t deal with it as equivalent to properly. 

I do know this will appear each complicated and redundant. You’re most likely asking why I’m saying that I can discover myself overcome with fears, but I’m okay. I’m telling you to be light, however no too light. However consider Jesus and His disciple, Thomas. When Jesus rose from the grave, Thomas was in disbelief. He claimed that he wanted to see the scars of Jesus and even contact them with the intention to imagine the Savior had really risen once more. 

“Per week later, the disciples have been gathered in a home when Jesus appeared to them. He first supplied them peace, after which instructed Thomas to place his arms on His aspect. Then, Jesus spoke, ‘Cease doubting and imagine’” (John 21:24-29). 

Jesus by no means instructed Thomas he was much less of a disciple as a result of he doubted. So please, don’t inform me I’m much less of a devoted follower of Christ due to my doubts. As Jesus supplied Thomas peace and luxury with out taking a look at him in disdain, I ask you to do the identical.

I’m not my anxiousness. I’m my very own particular person with my very own ideas, emotions, and opinions. I don’t revolve round my anxiousness, although typically it appears to revolve round me. However please acknowledge the distinction. I orbit round Jesus; my fears orbit round me. The neat factor about this photo voltaic sample is that as I circle the Christ, I pressure my fears, doubts, and worries to do the identical. Once I bow on the toes of Jesus, my anxious ideas haven’t any selection however to bow with me. I look to you for consolation, sure, however not for wholeness or fixing. I do know the Final Healer already, and He isn’t intimidated or terrified of my ideas. 

I additionally ask that you just by no means really feel as if you can not discuss to me. Sure, I battle with battles that I’ve mentioned you may not perceive. However I do know that you just battle with wars I’ll by no means combat. I can give you a singular perspective. Actually, I’ve discovered to reap my anxious ideas and switch them into a sort of trouble-shooting protection tactic. So, in the event you want somebody to stroll via potentialities and situations, I’m your woman. 

I write all of this in hopes that I don’t appear ungrateful. Your assist in any type means the world to me. And you’re so courageous for trying to know and navigate the problems of my ideas. You’re so variety for sitting in them with me whereas I attempt to determine them out. Due to all of this, I by no means need you to assume that I don’t love and respect each you and your efforts. 

I write this as an alternative to say that you just do not need to tip-toe round me. You’ll not break me in the event you lean on me. In all actuality, you assist me develop once you pressure me to stroll via my fears and “what if’s” as an alternative of protecting me from them. 

My battle is anxiousness. And also you assist me combat. No matter your battle could also be, I plan to face in battle subsequent to you as properly. 

So, that is each a thanks letter and a launch type. Thanks on your friendship and for merely being you. And please launch your self from the accountability of protecting me. Once more, I received’t break, and I’m not sick. You do not need to face guard. Give me the house to be sturdy. 

I like you, expensive good friend, and I thank God on daily basis for you on this life. 

Love, 

Your Anxious Good friend 

Photograph Credit score: ©swn