Has anybody ever given you an particularly memorable praise? A couple of years in the past, Joanna instructed me I used to be “actually good at getting presents” after I flipped out over a bottle of fancy rinse-free hand wash that she gave me earlier than a flight. That hand wash was fairly nice, however what actually caught with me was the praise. Being good at receiving presents? That’s a very nice attribute to have. It’s the sort of factor individuals at all times discover, however not often point out — not to mention praise.
More often than not, compliments are reserved for issues you’ll be able to see: Good haircut! Nice outfit! You look so fairly! Nothing fallacious with that, however I do make a degree of making an attempt to supply compliments that aren’t based mostly in look. I do it, partially, as a result of it aligns with my values round physique variety and wonder requirements. But in addition as a result of non-physical compliments land in a different way, and appear to stay in a means that even essentially the most effusive haircut praise doesn’t. It takes extra consideration to touch upon one thing you’ll be able to’t see at a look, and I believe our brains clock that effort. It makes the remark extra significant — makes us really feel “seen,” sarcastically.
Stories about resilience often remind us how words of encouragement can make a lasting difference, much like finding strength through difficult moments.
Why Meaningful Compliments Stay With Us
Unlike compliments about appearance, words that recognise someone’s character or personality often leave a lasting impression. They remind us that people notice the way we treat others, solve problems or make those around us feel. A sincere comment about kindness, patience or generosity can become something we carry with us for years because it reflects qualities that are part of who we are rather than how we look on a particular day.
Many people can remember a compliment from a teacher, friend or colleague that completely changed how they saw themselves. Sometimes it is as simple as being told that you make people feel welcome, stay calm under pressure or have a talent for listening. These observations can build confidence because they highlight strengths we may never have recognised on our own.
Research from Positive Psychology explores how appreciation and gratitude improve wellbeing.
Meaningful compliments also strengthen relationships. Taking a moment to recognise someone’s effort, humour, creativity or empathy shows genuine appreciation and helps create trust. Whether at home, at work or among friends, thoughtful words often have a bigger impact than we realise, encouraging people to continue sharing the qualities that make them unique.
Experts in positive psychology have long suggested that sincere appreciation contributes to stronger emotional wellbeing and healthier relationships. Compliments that acknowledge effort, resilience or compassion can motivate people far more effectively than comments focused only on appearance. Feeling valued for who we are often creates a deeper sense of confidence and belonging.
The Greater Good Science Center has published research on kindness, gratitude and positive relationships.
Parents, teachers and mentors also play an important role in shaping self-esteem through the words they choose. Praising curiosity, perseverance, honesty or kindness encourages personal growth and reinforces behaviours that can benefit people throughout their lives. These qualities remain valuable regardless of age, career or life stage.
Giving meaningful compliments does not require a special occasion. A simple observation such as telling someone they make others feel comfortable, ask thoughtful questions or bring positive energy into a room can brighten their day. Because these compliments are personal and specific, they often feel more authentic and memorable than general praise.
Perhaps that is why non-physical compliments stay with us for so long. They remind us that our character, actions and relationships matter just as much as our appearance. Long after a new hairstyle or outfit is forgotten, kind words about who we are can continue to inspire confidence and strengthen the connections we share with others.
Don’t get me fallacious, I’ll take a praise on my hair (thanks for noticing my bob; I used to be tremendous nervous about it). However my coronary heart swells just like the Grinch’s after I consider the instances somebody’s seen, for instance, that I’m good at approaching animals or making younger kids really feel comfy. And years later, I nonetheless like considering of myself as somebody who’s good at receiving presents. It’s a small factor, however factor, and one thing I’d by no means have seen about myself had somebody not pointed it out. So after I discover a trait like that in others, I love to do the identical.
Psychological studies continue to examine how positive communication influences mental wellbeing.
Personal experiences often shape confidence, similar to how personal growth shapes our lives over time.
Some stories entertain, while others encourage reflection through stories that spark conversation.
